The Dog at My Heel

Change it seems
Is to be my companion
Directing the course of my life
For now at least, but
The calls come less frequent
The messages far and few;
Words from the voice of promise
'Rudderless!' it cries to me
'No,' I say
Though the voice remain silent
The promise is there
Change would define my fear
Were it not for her

Each time we speak
Change and I
I gain a little more ground
I am not as powerless
As I once was
And Change is perplexed
Who are you? It asks
Don’t you know? I laugh
Having led me blind four decades
Don’t you know?
For you have surely shaped the man I am
But no more
You left the clay wet
And now she has found me
And has drawn me out
Found the shape of my soul
That part I hid from you

Though I cannot feel her hands on me
Wet and shaping,
Turning my life upon her wheel
These are changes I welcome
Your hands never sought to hold me
Feel for the shape of my soul
She loves the work of her hands
Has allowed my life to take what shape it would
And she longs to stir her soul with mine
You do not

You have lost
The changes you sought to bring…
Her hands are upon me now
Not yours
It’s her voice I hear
Take her from me if you can
But I will never be yours again
No more
She has shaped strength
Imparted confidence
And kneaded desire into my heart
My life
My soul

And that is what she is to me
The culmination of every hope and dream
You are merely Change
To be respected
But feared no more
She is life and love and hope and prayer
Happiness and fulfillment
And when she is ready
She will fire my heart
Seal my shape at last
And I will be what she has made me ~
A man who loves
And cherishes her very life
A man who desperately loves her
Who has felt her hands on his heart
Heard her voice in his soul

It is inevitable
That you should dog my every step
It is what you are
A panting beast without care
In search of the temporal
And those who believe
That change, though inevitable
Is invincible


ELAshley
2 September 2001